Home of the first and only commercial solution to time travel!
Mistake Fixing Script
[Salesman] Have you ever desired to warp reality on a whim in an eco-friendly manner?
[Salesman] Maybe you’ve been running late for work or school, and can’t remember if you locked the door when you left. With the Personal Temporal Space Device, for only $47,362.51, you can fix any mistakes of the past.
[Salesman] Our innovative system uses American sourced Aznite crystals combined with high strength alternating current fields in a dimensional Mobioid generator, to allow for targeted folding of spacetime, enabling you to go wherever you wish!
[Salesman] For more information on its operation, or how to buy one, go to: http://www.buyPTSD.com or call us at 1(800) BUY-PTSD
The following should be read quickly, like medicine symptoms
[Salesman] “MyPTSD llc.” is a limited liability corporation, and cannot be held responsible for any consequences whatsoever for owner negligence, use, or misuse, which includes, but is not limited to the following outcomes: various forms of injury, skin abrasions, inability to travel due to exceeding the 50 year time limit and thus overextending the machine’s capabilities resulting in overheating/meltdown, accelerating the heat death of the universe, teleporting inside of anyone or anything resulting in a clipping phenomenon, distortion of the timeline, freeing genies from lamps, melting the polar ice caps, breaking the speed of light, or deforestation.
Family Vacation Script
[Salesman] Ever desired to visit a tropical destination with your family, but can’t afford the $2000+ in airfare? Or worse yet, every time you do decide to cough up the cash for a trip with your loved ones, you have to deal with an infant screaming a few rows behind you.
[Salesman] Well there’s a solution to this, the revolutionary new travel system: The Personal Temporal Space Device!
[Salesman] Powered by our innovative Azenite Crystal Moboid Generator, this form of transportation is capable of taking you from any of our 30 locations to one of our vacation destinations around the world.
sign appears “now boarding to Hawaii”
The following should be read quickly, like medicine symptoms
[Salesman] “MyPTSD travel agency llc.” is a subsidiary of “MyPTSD llc.,” which is a limited liability corporation, and as such cannot be held responsible for any intended consequences or unintended consequences of your travel, which may include, but is not limited to the following, or as a result of the following: dissatisfaction with your vacation, sand in your socks, shark bites, sun burns, lead contamination of provided sunscreen, dehydration, drowning, moderate to severe oil spills, increased seismic activity, violation of FAA code 49 USC 44809, 14 CFR Part 135, or 14 CFR Part 107.
Fugitive Script
At this point in time, the Salesman has completely lost it.
He has tried everything to sell the time machine,
or at least use of it, but everything has failed.
He has now resorted to attempting to engage criminals in buying it.
[Salesman] Are you a fugitive on the run in need of a secure hiding spot, and are willing to pay an exuberant amount to ensure that you are un-reachable?
[Salesman] Then we have got the machine for you, The Personal Temporal Space Device. This machine is capable of teleporting you safely to another time, freeing you from pesky government pursuit. Not only does it prevent cops from catching you, but you can even...